


Maybe

by vvivid



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blank Period, Canon did SasuSaku DIRTY, F/M, Love is hard, Not Beta Read, Romance, Short One Shot, We took 20 AUs and put them together in 1 story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 16:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21000527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvivid/pseuds/vvivid
Summary: Sakura wonders if she'll ever find her soulmate, or if she really needs one to begin with.





	Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome in, friends. After talking to one of my friends about how much we love soulmate stuff, I decided to take it upon myself to throw my hat back into the ring. However, I couldn't decide which one I wanted to focus on, so.... surprise! Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read, comment, like, etc etc. It really boosts my self-esteem, lol.

Sakura had only ever known a life of color; not too vibrant or overwhelming, but also not grey and lackluster. She was grateful for it, and had fallen into a mindset where maybe that was okay, and that she didn’t really need anyone else after all. As long as her world stayed simple, known, and there, she could be fine. Maybe, even, she would find someone. 

Probably not who her parents would be expecting, but someone that was just enough; they would be happy together, maybe even in love, or not, but it would be enough. Sakura could be happy without ever meeting her soulmate, even if it meant her world wasn’t quite aligned, and sometimes the flowers were a bit duller and sky wasn’t as blue.

Sakura fell in love when she was young, but it wasn’t her soulmate. Nonetheless, she would say she loved him with everything in her being; partially, it was true. But even though her heart beat quick when  he  was around, and her hands shook when he looked her away, and she felt nothing but longing for him, there still remained an emptiness that would settle in the back of her heart. 

She could learn to let it go, though; she could love him with everything she had, push back the void and bury it alongside all the doubt and whispers. Sakura loved him, Sasuke, and she didn’t care if he was her soulmate. She would see it to the end, fight for what she wanted, and love with all she had.

When he left, it was next to devastating. The void that had never slept easily stirred and ate apart her mind, telling her that it was to be expected. He wasn’t her soulmate, after all. Even if they were, he found her annoying, and didn’t share her overwhelming feelings of love. He was just a boy from a destroyed home, uninterested in love and other affairs. Power and vengeance w ere all he knew, while Sakura only knew how to love and care until she went dizzy.

They were not soulmates. They weren’t meant to be. Opposites, set on two very different destinies.

She allowed herself to be sad for a bit, but knew things had to change. She remembered her ideals from a child, and went back to being content with just being alone. Maybe she would settle, or find someone else who would give her at least a bit of what she wanted. Maybe she would grow out of her lovestruck mind, and maybe she would be able to be something more th a n it.

She trained hard and endlessly, pouring herself into work and doing all she could to get stronger. She didn’t want to be left behind anymore, be weak or looked down upon, and if she trained all  day , she could wobble home and collapse without any dreams.

Usually.

She dreamed, sometimes, of flowers blooming under a crescent moon. There were hundreds of them in the field, and she would watch as a ghost in the trees as they all opened up under the sky. She wondered which one she would be, and if she  would  ever  bloom . Maybe, that wouldn’t be so bad.

Days after she dreamed, Sakura was left alone with the darkness that tried to fight its way up; it fought with tooth and nail to consume her mind, leaving nothing but scars and trails of black across her  thoughts. Those days, she trained harder, throwing herself until her muscles gave out and she would vomit somewhere in the trees, barely able to crawl home, and once home, throwing herself into training books until she’d awake the next day with them scattered around her.

Two years. She trained with all of her heart, mind, soul, and muscles for two years. The darkness didn’t completely disappear, but it did quiet down after a few months; as Sakura became more confident, growing into body and self, it slowly simmered down and remained as a quiet, sleeping beast that rested in her head. It would stir if she poked it, but if she left it, it would simply coexist with her.

The world sometimes became dull, but she pretended not to notice. She pretended not to look up and see the sky fading from blue to white to grey, pretended not to stare at the flowers in front of Ino’s shop and hope she was just losing her mind. She pretended she didn’t have dreams of fields of flowers under a night sky, pretended she didn’t walk through the rows and clusters of different species; pretended she didn’t kneel down and wonder which one she would be in this field.

Sometimes, pretending is all she had.

Sakura would sometimes go into their old training field at night, even when her muscles refused to move, or her eyes begged her to close; sometimes she would go and lay in the open field, stare up at the sky and close her eyes, and pretend she was a field of flowers that could only bloom under the moon’s light. In those moments, when her brain would shift back to memory, only one thing ever echoed through it:

maybe, maybe, maybe.

Running into him after he defected hit her harder than she wanted to admit. When her viridian eyes fell on him, she wasn’t afraid of him, but rather, how her world suddenly erupted with whites, greys, and blacks; how the color was seeped from the world within seconds, leaving the land around her lifeless but moving. She wanted to cry, scream, do anything, but all she could do is  _ stare _ . If there was a god out there, he was cruel.

If finding her soulmate meant the world would burst with colors, then what did it mean now? Even if she didn’t love him, she still loved him; he was their teammate, a precious person she wanted to fight alongside and protect. Naruto had done so much to bring him back, to set him on the right path, and all she could see now was grey scaled monochromatic world.

A month later she found herself at a small coffee shop, her thoughts buried deep in the void of her brain, allowing it to eat away at every fiber of her being. When she was younger, her mom had told her about soulmates.  _ They were special _ , she had told her,  _ they were bound _ _ by destiny _ . It only affected women, for whatever reason, and it was unique to just their family. Similar to a  kekkei genkai , if they wanted to put it in shinobi terms. It should be a blessing, she was told, but it was also a curse. It was also different for every person.

She saw her mom’s wrists when they talked; neat little numbers that had counted down to the day she would meet her soulmate, there from the day she was born, and there until the day she dies. Her mom also saw a faint, almost translucent, red string; if she tried to follow it, though, it would fade away once she got too close. When she met her husband, Sakura’s dad, the red string that swayed in and out of existence was completely solid, connecting her index finger to his. It felt like fire on her skin, and when they looked at each other, it was like her world erupted in cool flames. She was home. Or so, Sakura was told.

But Sakura didn’t have any of those experiences. No timer, no string, no flames. When she was younger, she used to stare into the eyes of strangers, wondering if one of them would be her soulmate. Now, she almost hesitated. And after the  Sasuke incident...?

Ino waved her hand in front of her face, and Sakura swam her up back up the surface, blinking a few times before smiling at her friend. “What’s got you all... like this?” She asked, gesturing broadly to Sakura as a whole. She laughed, shrugging it off. 

“Just thinking, ya’ know, the usual.”

Ino snorted, rolling her eyes. “Never stops with you, huh? Your brain needs a break.”

Sakura smiled, resting her arms on the table and she leaned in closer to her friend. The beast was asleep, but never satisfied, and she knew it would find her again eventually. “Yeah, maybe I do.”

Sakura took it upon herself to focus back on the real world, but preparation for the war helped with that. There were no rooms for soulmates in war. Sakura had worked tirelessly to reach this point, but she was ready. She was ready to fight, to defend her loved ones, her home, her allies,  _ everyone _ . She would die if that’s what it took. Would she? Maybe. But she would go fighting, dragging whoever got in her way with her.

She fought with her boys, her brothers, her precious people. She was with them and supported them with all she had. They fought god and walked away, and set a new standard for shinobi everywhere. They would lead the next generation, one day, but now they were guiding their own generation.  Sasuke haunted the corners of her eyes, blurring the odd colors into a mixture of greys, but she ignored it. There was no love in war.

But as quickly as it started, it was over. They won. Maybe, things would be different now. Maybe, or probably.

With her seal decorating her forehead, Sakura was also filled with a soft warmth that stretched across every inch of blood, bone, and muscle. But besides that, pride had heat, and she knew she had finally done it. She had become someone to be proud of; she was seen as one of, if not the, top medical ninjas in the world. Her strength was unmatched, and she was one of the few people to ever achieve the strength of a hundred seals. She loved herself, was happy with who she had become, was proud of everything; for once, the world wasn’t so dull.

Watching her boys fight broke her in every way. Kakashi made her stay back, and although she wanted to run in and stop them, she knew better. They needed to do this. If they didn’t, if Naruto couldn’t show  Sasuke his feelings,  Sasuke would never return to them. He teetered on the edge of the abyss; a few months ago, she only saw his blood-red eyes, but now? Now, his body wavered, the shadows dancing around him as his doubt swayed his solid beliefs.

Her eyes burned, maybe from the tears, but most likely from watching the color fight back and forth with itself. The world shifted between black to vibrant blues to deep purples to white to yellow again. She saw dead flowers littering the water and earth, and she could see others alight in the sky, burning to ash that covered their skin, leaving nothing but invisible specks.

Her heart throbbed, her eyes burned, and her hands shook.

Maybe, it would be okay, but Sakura couldn’t live with maybes anymore. No, they would be okay. 

When she watched  Sasuke leave the village, she watched him go. She stood by the gate, her fingers ghosting against her seal where he had just poked her, her heart pounding like it did all those years ago. Did she let him leave yet again? She outstretched her hand, feeling as if she did, she could reach him. 

She  _ should  _ let him leave. She should let him atone for his sins, let him follow his path of redemption. And yet?

And yet, as he walked away, he took the color of the world with him. She was so sick of maybes,  shoulds ,  probablys , all of it; she was a woman of action now, and that was why she took off after him, refusing to take no for an answer.

When she collided with him, he caught her, looking at her with the gentlest eyes she’s ever seen. When she collided with him, her body shook as something rippled through her. She ignored it. It was nothing, she told herself. Happy, maybe.

Well, maybe “maybe” was harder to get rid of then she thought.

They travelled together for three months, but she was happy. They didn’t talk much at first, working as if they were on a mission—which, she guessed, it was. After the first tense couple of weeks, though, they began to talk. He liked to watch her work, she quickly figured out; he sat close by as she tended to the different injured villagers they’d come across. He’d listen to her soft words, kindness, and reassurance she gave all patients. It was a stark difference between what he had seen in the past.

Strong, but kind, with a heart that was always bursting with love.

Sakura enjoyed, probably too much, watching  Sasuke reemerge himself with the world. He did menial tasks a lot, helping rebuild homes or businesses. She refused to do any talking, leaving him to fend for himself and humbly ask for work. But over time, she could see his loosening up, and he found it easier and easier to talk to people. Even when there were no jobs, he talked more.

On a particularly bad night,  Sasuke confided in her; and, without knowing any better, she held him as he spilled his confessions to her under the moon.

There were no flowers this time.

On another night, Sakura confessed she wasn’t sure if she had forgiven  Sasuke yet. Sure, she did, of course, and she would, but... when she looked at him, really looked at him, her gut twisted in a way that told her he was an enemy. She didn’t know if she trusted him. Sometimes, at night, she would lay awake with her back pressed against the wall, as if he would stir and attack at any moment.

Days to months. Months to months.

To months to months to months to months.

It was a year before she knew it, and they finally returned home together. Sasuke, as stiff as ever, but with the faintest smile, with a growing heart and a healing soul. Sakura, beaming, with fists that could flatten a mountain, but soft as fur, with eyes that watered even when happy. They returned, a year later, hand in hand.

There was a small party. Small if you considered fifty or so people to be small, at least. They were welcomed back, and although people were weary of Sasuke, many had come to accept him even with his absence. His name had spread quietly, but enough for people to believe that maybe he really did change. Sakura vouching for him seemed to help quite a bit, too.

The two walked quietly together, Sakura’s cheeks a bit pink from drinking, while his were relaxed and calm. They spent the night walking the village again, seeing their home with new eyes. They walked past the bench that he had left her at all those years ago, but when they paused, he squeezed her hand, and they continued on. They walked past the Uchiha compound, empty, and not a home to him anymore. She leaned her head against his shoulder, and they walked on. They saw the academy, the Hokage tower, the different shops, and their old training grounds.

Somehow, they found themselves walking through their old training grounds. They walked through the forest, hand in hand, quiet but content. They stilled at the forest edge, looking out into a flowerless field. He led her, and she let him, staring up at the moon ahead.

“Thank you,” he whispered, leaning down to press his lips against hers. 

“I love you,” she told him, honestly, cupping his cheeks with her hands.

He paused, considering, resting his forehead against hers. His gaze, which before, had left her world colorless and horrific, which she had been scared to look into, now was comforting and homely. She closed her eyes, feeling him kiss her seal tenderly, as if his lips would scald her. 

“And I, you.”

When she opened her eyes, tears brimming but not falling, flowers bloomed all around her. Not in the field, no, but on her. Evening primrose, moonflowers,  daturas , night gladiolus, nicotiana, evening stock, daisies, lilies, hydrangeas, lotus, and daisies bloomed across her body and face, bursting through her dress with ease, leaving her skin a figure of the imagination. The sky was dark, but god, was it beautiful; she could see different shades of dark blues dancing together, she could see the purples, silvers, reds, and colors of the stars. The grass was green and healthy, bursting beneath them, slowly being filled with flowers that dropped from her body, only to be replaced by a different one.

She felt dizzy, and maybe if she was alone she would’ve collapsed, but instead,  Sasuke held her. He pulled her in tight, let her flowers bloom, fall, and bloom more. Sakura buried her face where his neck and shoulder met, holding him tightly, whispering her heart’s secrets to him.

In the morning, the field would be filled with hundreds of flowers, and Sakura would awake next to her soulmate, and she would realize that maybes were, in fact, not good enough.

She would be the field of flowers beneath his sky, stars, and moon, and she would bloom only for him. A soulmate not by destiny, somewhat of choice, but mainly hard work. 

She loved him, and he loved her. 


End file.
